i see sparks fly.

hallo!

i'm having a crummy day. i really sorta wish i had a boyfriend that made me feel like all my friend's boyfriends do. i've been talking to this guy, but we haven't like dtr-ed. dumb right? i can't believe i just used that.. anyway, we don't really say we have a thing or if we're ever gonna date or anything but, i really like him. like a lot. i know he probably doesn't like me all that much but, he's really funny and sweet and too good for me. not to mention he talks to girls all the time. i'm not good at sharing.. at all. and he knows that.. I finally told him that I wasn't gonna fight for him. If he likes someone else, then he like someone else. i'm a big girl, i can get over shit like that but don't lead me on.. and he said. " you have nothing to worry about, you won't have to.. " but i feel like that's a bullshit line. i'm so mixed about all this. it's frustrating and like i know there's good guys out there that i might have a chance with but i want this ONE! no one else! i'm just ugh, stupid i guess. i don't need a boyfriend and i certainly don't have time for one but just one guy to make me feel like i'm important to him.. that's not my father.. would be great to have in my life. that's all i ask and evidently it's too hard.. yeah. fuck it. boys are dumb.. 

friends,

heads up now, i'm frustrated as all get out.. so, bare with me.
my father is dumb.. he comes in my room and goes... " it's bed time what are you doing on your computer?" well, for one, i'm doing homework and listening to music, i'm not blogging or tweeting or anything so stfu. kay? ugh, it pisses me off. i'm a fricken responsible teenager and i know when i'm tired. not to mention i still have to shower, clean my room and make myself tea cause you won't do any of that for me. not to mention, daddy-o, you don't ever take the time to realize that i didn't have time to clean my room today because i went to school, volleyball and student training till 8 tonight then came home and did an hour of homework, so shove that up your ass and walk funky tomorrow. good god.

now, i probably should go do those things. thank god wensdays are late start days. that makes me supppperrrr happy.
goodnight, dears.

for me it isn't over.

i've decided that since my school is stupid and blocked facebook at home on OUR computers, I'm gonna post surveys on here. :)




What is your favorite website?
Facebook, Tumblr, or Blogger. :)

Could you outrun a bus?
No, probably not. :)

Would you race a bus sometime in your lifetime?
Why would I do that?

You are racing a bus. You get ran over if you can speak what do say?
EFF THAT!

So far what do you think of these questions?
These are very dumb. No lie.

Do you keep your Christmas lights up all year?
Nope.

What is your favorite name for a girl?
Eliza.

What is your favorite name for a boy?
Branson.

What is your name?
Madison.

Do you like your name?
I love my name actually.

What were you last Halloween?
Nothingg.

Do you own a Wii?
Nope.

You and your friends are bored. What do you do?
Go to the park.

Have you ever read the book Pretty Little Liars?
No, I don't read.

Have you ever seen the movie Twilight?
Waste of time.

So, vampires or werewolfs?
Humans?

Does your boyfriend or girlfriend have stinky feet?
What the fuck?

What is your favorite color?
Orange and Purple.

Who was our nations first president?
Henry P. Hanson or some shit like that. & I'm not joking, We JUST learned this in History today.

Are you in middle school?
High Schoool.

Ted...

you there. reading this. 

i hope you're day was well. as mine was. i'm going to start blogging a lot. because i have lots of sweet details to blog about. i'm not going to say names, simply in fear of one person reading this, and telling one person, who tells the next and who proceeds to tell the other. that would be completely embarrassing. hell, i'm constantly embarrassed. no biggy, right? wrong. i hate it. believe it or not. those who may be reading this who know who i am will be suprised. i hate being the center of attention. yes, i know. i am. a lot. simply because of my personality (i swear those stupid things are genetic). deep down inside of me, i'm this creepishly awkward person, and when i talk to guys, they realize this. thus, forming my complete lack of allure. going back to what i was really talking about.. the person, that i was gonna tell you about.. we'll call him... Ted. Ted, is a very nice man. Someone i'd be attracted to, well someone i AM in fact attracted to. now, Ted and I are quite good friends, I'd say. We talk. Have classes together so we have the same comprehension level.. but, Ted and I are both very awkward people. At least I'd say so. He's shy. I can be. He's athletic, I am. He's cute.. well, I guess I'm okay. But, Me and Ted are the two people that everyone knows we like each other except us two.. Well, I know I like him. But, hell if he does. And so I've almost given up hope. I know he talks to other girls. Girls who have style and can get a guy.. but, why can't Ted just like ME! Is it THAT fricken' hard? Evidently so.. Maybe I should let him be..

aller anfang ist shwer.

Hi friend..

How are you today? My day was quite uneventful..

Today at school was a black day.. which means really boring classes. For starters, A block is Drama.. Not always the funnest.. at all. Today, it was a bit better. B block; Guitar 1. I can't read music, but I understand how it works? Make sense? Yeah, not to my teacher either.. Soo all I did today was pretend to play, get lost, give up, text and do music history..can you say boring? C block; Fitness. Again, boring. I'm an athletic  person. I play sports and love working out and running but for some reason.. I HATE P.E. With a livid passion. I don't like doing P.E things. At all. Today wasn't that bad, we watched a movie on lifting weights and shiznits. Then, we went and lifted weights. Boring. Nuff said.  Lunch; was great actually. I loved lunch today. I hung out with Kirsten and Logan and Haley and them and yeah. No biggy. Then German is D block. I like German, usually. But, not today. I was dozing off and it was hard to keep my eyes open.

So, that's my day in a nutshell. I was really quiet all day, and that's not very usual for me. Something's just not been right lately. That's a whole other story. And believe me, you don't wanna hear it now.

the beggining

Hello, Reader.

Whoever you may be. Quite honestly, I don't care. This is the look, the sneak peak into my life. The very boring, unenthusiastic thing I call life. Now, you're probably wondering. Why on Earth would I be even remotely interested in the girl's life. Well, you tell me. You're reading this. And when I say 'you' I mean nobody. But, that's just me assuming things and I'm not very good at assuming things and be even half correct about it. I do have a good feeling about this. No one will read this, I'm okay with that for, I will be venting and talking to my imagenary blog readers about everything. Ecspecially something a freshman in High School always drags on about... crushes. I have a complete lack of allure so don't ever plan on seeing anything about dates, hanging out with guys, let alone dating anyone.

For now, this is all.
My dad made Cordon Bleu.. GAG ME!