blogblogblogblog.

spontaneous blog. how's that sound? i hope it's alright with you because it is with me. i'm sitting in my room at like 11:30 pm doing nothing on a Saturday evening. i'm pretty eventful. not gonna lie. i can't even find my phone so it's tumblr and blogger alllllllll night tonight. my tummy hurts from eating too much twizzlers and toblerone chocolate. it's awful yet SO yummy. you have NO idea. i hit a growth spurt again, and i'm hoping it's my last. my poor legs hurt so much from all this growing shit. i can't handle it.

the quarter ends soon for school. it can't seriously be this late in the year already can it? blahhhhh. i have done nothing worth telling anyone. legitamently... nothing. NOTHING! i can't believe that. homecoming is this week.. it's pre'gay. not like homosexual.. but rather... stupid. why i didn't just say stupid? don't ask cause i don't know the answer.. but, yeah it's dumb. monday is hat day, tuesday is so dumb i forgot, wensday is decade day or something, thursday is sports day and friday is spirit day! whooop. not. my stomach hurts SO MUCH!

i miss my old friends. a lot. then i had to go and move away. i'm dumb. i feeeeel mega stupid for doing that. why did i ever do that? please tell me that, reader. i need an answer. i need answer for everything. wanna come write a history book report for my b.o.e? no? yeah me either. i'll hire somebody. ya know in those movies of like high school students? the really cool ones where they break out into song for no real apparent reason? yeah. newsflash for people going into highschool... THAT DOESN'T FUCKING HAPPEN. nope. instead teachers are douches and meany faces and tell you to shut up. and you have to do things you don't want to and it's so dumb you seriously consider dying and if you're anything like me you come to terms with it and realize that if you had to commit suicide that you'd be too damn lazy to do so. i JUST thought of something. i'm gonna ask my english teacher if i can get myself some extra credit for doing this. that would be sooooo SICK. :)
i would love english class afterwards.
i really am tired. i think i may have to go to bed now. get rid of my illnesses. maybe i won't feel like shit tomorrow.
sleep good dearest reader.
mads.

but you're no better..

Hello Reader.

I haven't blogged in awhile. No real reason to. Not really a whole lot happening. Just volleyball. I've just finally had enough with the caddy girls in my school. It's so annoying. Like, seriously people.. you're in high school? who the hell cares if i called you a bitch. GET THE HELL OVER IT! you have 3 years of it happening to you. you're gonna have your high and low points in life. just shut up and get over it. for me it's so hard not to just fight right back with the dumb bitches. they're so fucking immature. they put facebook status' about it. like seriously? i called you a bitch. i'll say it to your face and i'll give you five damn good reasons why i think you are too. its so stupid and dumb. i'm glad people have enough time to sit here and start drama.. like are you kidding me. you're no better than anyone else so come back down from your imaginary world where you run the show and get to reality. i'll happily slap you across the face too but, it's gonna hurt even more when high school does. so, there's not point. and while you're at it. stay the fuck away from my guy. okay? get it!? go away, suck a penis. do something you're good at cause you suck at life and living. okay? sounds fucking great.

i'm frustrated..

Be..

I'm only a freshman in High School. And it doesn't really occur to you when you're my age that you're a role model to younger people until you see it happen. I play volleyball. I see 8th graders who show up to every game just to see what it's gonna take for them to make the team next year. You see them at Varsity games and you look at their faces in awe. They look up to us on the court but, it's what we do after the game. After the bad play that they REALLY pay attention to. How we react to a missed serve and shanked  ball and out of bounds hit is what they look at. They want to resemble us, they want to play like us. But, while they look up to us. We look up to the older girls. The juniors and seniors. We look at how they play, the techniques they use, the motivational words they give each other. Everything they do, we want to copy it and duplicate it. Our mission is to play like them because one day we hope to be in their shoes, on the services line, hearing our names called stepping out and waving at the people who look up to us. You don't realize it till you see it. Off the court, in the halls, on the streets, they see us and they watch your every move. The people you hang out with, the language you use. As you grow older, the closer they look; how fast you drive, the music that plays in your car, the people in your car, if you text and drive. Be the person you want someone else to be. Be the role model. Be mature and responsible. Let younger kids know that it's TOTALLY okay not doing drugs and partying and smoking. Be the change you want to see..

now i'm haunted.

so it's been awhile, i must say.
i'm so very tired but, i need to blog. i literally can't sleep till i do. i know that after this i won't sleep for like another hour, i'm gonna read for like ever. i'm starting to thoroughly enjoy reading and doing things i though i didn't like. like hiking, love it now. it's sooo nice to have an adventure. like no joke, i'm not a nature person but having the suspense of not knowing if what ever you're about to step on is stable and gonna be able to hold you up and not let you fall. i also have started to LOVE meditations. it's not for people who are like weird and stuff. it's really nice. you're just at piece with yourself. i highly suggest that even for the slightest bit of stress that you meditate. it's a great releaver!
i'm having a hard time keeping my eyes open i know this entry was boring and stufff but, i can't even stay awake at this point. thank gosh my homework is done. :)))

you can't love me.

readers,

it's such a late time in the day for a blog. i know. tell me about it. i'm like hardly even awake right now but, it's weird going to bed and not having blogged. let me tell you about my day, shall i? i went to school, that's obvious. then i had a volleyball game. we won. what a good way to start of our season. i'm super happy about that! then, i went to football walk through 'cause i'm a student trainer as well as volleyball. it's a lot of work. then i got home at like 8:30- 9ish. Then I took a shower and wined down.

Today went super fast & I love fast days. :)
Tomorrow is Friday and I have a three day weekend. :)))))
I'm WAYY happy about that lol. I do have boy stories but I know you're probably sick of hearing them, so I won't go there tonight, but that's honestly the one thing I can't get off my mind! It sucks. Haha, This is the one blog that has NO point. Anyway, I hope you're day was good.  Sleep tight, bloggers.

i see sparks fly.

hallo!

i'm having a crummy day. i really sorta wish i had a boyfriend that made me feel like all my friend's boyfriends do. i've been talking to this guy, but we haven't like dtr-ed. dumb right? i can't believe i just used that.. anyway, we don't really say we have a thing or if we're ever gonna date or anything but, i really like him. like a lot. i know he probably doesn't like me all that much but, he's really funny and sweet and too good for me. not to mention he talks to girls all the time. i'm not good at sharing.. at all. and he knows that.. I finally told him that I wasn't gonna fight for him. If he likes someone else, then he like someone else. i'm a big girl, i can get over shit like that but don't lead me on.. and he said. " you have nothing to worry about, you won't have to.. " but i feel like that's a bullshit line. i'm so mixed about all this. it's frustrating and like i know there's good guys out there that i might have a chance with but i want this ONE! no one else! i'm just ugh, stupid i guess. i don't need a boyfriend and i certainly don't have time for one but just one guy to make me feel like i'm important to him.. that's not my father.. would be great to have in my life. that's all i ask and evidently it's too hard.. yeah. fuck it. boys are dumb.. 

friends,

heads up now, i'm frustrated as all get out.. so, bare with me.
my father is dumb.. he comes in my room and goes... " it's bed time what are you doing on your computer?" well, for one, i'm doing homework and listening to music, i'm not blogging or tweeting or anything so stfu. kay? ugh, it pisses me off. i'm a fricken responsible teenager and i know when i'm tired. not to mention i still have to shower, clean my room and make myself tea cause you won't do any of that for me. not to mention, daddy-o, you don't ever take the time to realize that i didn't have time to clean my room today because i went to school, volleyball and student training till 8 tonight then came home and did an hour of homework, so shove that up your ass and walk funky tomorrow. good god.

now, i probably should go do those things. thank god wensdays are late start days. that makes me supppperrrr happy.
goodnight, dears.